comparing remus/tonks to edward/bella. no, really.
Wow. So, while I was trying to sleep I was doing a brain post (aka a "thoughtful" journal entry that only exists in my mind because I never post it) about Tonks and some things the RPworld does to her that pisses me off, and I had been reading Twilight parodies for the past couple of days and somehow my brain suddenly came to the conclusion that Edward/Bella is a seriously messed up version of Remus/Tonks. Yes, I am serious. And I couldn't go to sleep without Seriously posting about and doing a full comparison because WHAT THE HELL? I would go into my feelings on both ships, but I'll save that for another day.



1. Comparing Isabella Swan to Nymphadora Tonks.

1. Clumsiness. I think this is obvious. Bella is given the trait of clumsiness, though we don't see much of it past the first book (to be honest), and it tends to appear as a cover for Mary Sue syndrome. Tonks is also described as clumsy, falling over herself in Order of the Phoenix, at the least. When first mentioned in OotP, it certainly seem like a cover for any Mary Sue-ness coming from the fact that Tonks is a shapeshifter.
2. I hate my name. I'm not sure if Bella ever says she hates her given name, Isabella, but it is quite clear she goes by Bella. Tonks also does this, going by Dora and (obviously) Tonks. Both have rather relatively uncommon given names that could be described as pretty, though both reject the idea of being called by them.
3. Appearance. Bella is described as being pale, having a heart-shaped face, and chocolate brown eyes. Tonks is described as having a pale, heart-shaped face, and (if I remember correctly) twinkling dark eyes. Both, I believe, were referred to (at one point) as "pretty". I sense some mild similarity, there. (note: if I ever see anyone use KStew as Tonks I will be pissed.) Admittedly, Bella is described as being delicate, and Tonks is not, though I do personally believe that Tonks is at least somewhat pixie-ish if not a flower. And Tonks' eyes twinkle, while the only thing that twinkles in Twilight is the vampires.
4. "YOU'RE NOT DANGEROUS, IT'S CHILL!" See the section on the Relationship Comparison. In basic, both Bella and Tonks appear unconcerned by any danger that their boys/men (note: Edward is a boy. Remus is man. There is a difference.) pose to them.
5. Foolish Mothers, Mediocre Fathers. Bella, through out the series, seemed to consider her mother incredibly foolish, or at least childish. Tonks literally uses the word "fool" in referrence to her mother, when talking about her name. Though, while Reneé is a childish, waffle of a mother, Andromeda appears more mature, and while Bella considered herself her mother's caretaker, it's made clear that Andromeda is the mother in the Tonks household. With Charlie, it's noticeable that Bella is playing caretaker again, cooking for him, and though with Ted, who is described as being messy, it is Andromeda who cleans. While there is a definite difference between the households, I still see some (mild) similarity in the way that the girls handle/consider their parents.

2. Comparing Edward Cullen to Remus Lupin.

1. Monster. The obvious comparison is that they are both "monsters" (Remus a werewolf, and Edward a sparkling vampire), and both appear to consider themselves such. It seems to cause them both a good amount of grief, and insecurity. More on this in the Relationship Comparison.
2. Intelligence. Remus is clearly intelligent, and well-learned. While I can't remember if it's literally said (and couldn't be bothered to look it up), Edward is also considered an intelligent, and learned individual.
3. Age. Alright, technically Edward is seventeen forever (and acts like it, often), but even so they have both been around a while, at least in comparison to their girls. They both show maturity (Edward's may only be in spurts, but you get my point), and especially in consideration to many around them. Though Edward is not in a place of Elder-dom as Remus is, the fact remains that for a high-school boy Edward is old as hell.

3. The Relationship: Parallels.

1. "I CAN'T BE WITH YOU, I'M A MONSTER!" Frequently used in Twilight, and used in HPB. 90% of Twilight's plot can be described with the fact Edward is a vampire and that Bella isn't safe with him. At the end of HPB we see that Tonks is in love with Remus but Remus considers himself too dangerous, poor, and old for Tonks. (note: I don't believe the age difference between Bella and Edward is ever compared? Wow.) Both Edward and Remus use this as part of their excuse. While Edward uses it every five minutes (before changing his mind again), Remus uses it at least twice, with his additional excuses.
2. "I DON'T CARE, I LOVE YOU! Bella repeatedly states that she doesn't care that Edward is a sparklepire, even with Edward's repeated warnings that yes, he is. In HPB, Tonks clearly says that she doesn't give a rat's arse for Remus' excuses and loves him anyway.
3. "I AM SO SAD." Tonks in HPB is clearly depressed, even having trouble with her metamorphing abilities and is basically a big ol' mope for the whole book until the very end. Bella, of course, spends 90% of the Twilight series being an emoteen, but most notably in New Moon when Edward leaves her for Monster-reason.
4. "I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS." "SO I'M LEAVING." Edward spends a good deal of time agonizing how he can't be with Bella until he out-right leaves her in New Moon. Remus clearly spends time doing the same up until he leaves Tonks in Deathly Hallows (a notably pregnant Tonks, but more on ~babies later). And while Remus went back (presumably) quickly, Edward was absent for most of NW. (note: the fact that Remus left his pregnant wife for a stint and Edward left his girlfriend for the entirety of a book does not quite add together for perfect equality in terms of fail, and the question of how selfish/unselfish either of them could have been in their actions could be called in here.)
5. MUTANT BABIES. Yes. Teddy Remus equals Nessie Carlie. Both inherit some awesome, though the big difference here is that Teddy does not inherit any monster-quality from his father. Though that's not entirely sure. It's sure that he's not a werewolf, but whether or not he inherited something from it is not made clear. Personally, my Teddy likes steak, but who doesn't like steak? Also, I've seen it done (and done myself) that Teddy likes/has a repertoire animals. Which could be compared to the fact that Nessie's love is a "werewolf"/shapeshifter. Which also brings the point that Teddy's girlfriend is Victoire, who is 1/8th Veela. More to that point, neither boy/man wanted children. Edward goes so far as wanting Bella to have an abortion, while Remus simply goes angsting to the Trio about how he can't be a father. Luckily, no one ever wanted (that we know of) to destroy Teddy in the womb.
6. "WE'RE TOGETHER, AND ARE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY." For Bella and Edward it's after NW (sort of), and for Remus and Tonks it's after they're married.
7. "WE'RE BOTH DEAD." Technically, Bella and Edward are dead by the end, both being sparklepires, while Remus and Tonks are literally dead and help serve Teddy as a metaphor for Harry.

Concluding here because it's four in the morning and I feel sick, I find the parallels between Remus/Tonks and Edward/Bella so compelling at times that it's as if Twilight is just a big parody of the Remus/Tonks ship, and I have to wonder about that. Did Meyer base Twilight on Remus/Tonks? Was it a parody of it, and/or did she hate it that much she wrote a similar story to it just to show how wacked she considered it, and/or how much she loved it?

The biggest thing of note in all this, however, is the differences. So, for my own peace of mind (and to make myself clear that they aren't exactly the same)-

4. Differences.

1. Edward vs. Remus. Biggest difference you could possibly find. Edward is a clearly masochistic, obsessive stalker, as well as a rich, perfectly shaped, sparkling vampire who often shows signs of acting like a thirteen-year-old girl. Remus is a mature, battle-worn man, as well as a scarred, possibly desperate to be liked, dirt-poor werewolf who is under forty. (Not to mention that Remus is a wizard and Edward is a telepath.) Edward had the Cullens, and an entire ~world to introduce to Bella, and Remus lost all of his friends to death and betrayal. I consider Remus a more complex character than Edward.
2. Bella vs. Tonks. Bella is whiny teenager who does stupid things on a general basis, has no concern for anyone except Edward 90% of the time, is incredibly bland, spends the entirety of the series trying to jump Edward's bones, and doesn't seem to have a grain of self-esteem (except when she's with Edward). Tonks is (at least mildly) more mature, dark-wizard catcher, had "not so great" behavior in school, makes jokes, has a bubbly personality (not counting HPB, obviously), and doesn't spend the majority of four books bitching and moaning about mundane things like "grass" and "~human boys". Bella had no friends, and refused to really to be friends with the School of Mundane's students, while Tonks seemed to be chill with being friends with everyone. I should note the mild similarities between Tonks and Alice, here. (which makes a compelling comparison of Jasper to Remus, which is much better thought-food than Edward to Remus, I must say. FOR ANOTHER POST, THOUGH.)
3. Relationship. Bella/Edward is full of sex-related moments, and dirty thoughts. Remus/Tonks... Doesn't. (and I dare anyone who says differently to argue this, Seriously.) Bella/Edward has /Jacob popping up. While it is sometimes played in RP with a /Charlie to the mix, it isn't canonly mentioned, so I'm not indulging that mess of compatibility if there was any. Bella/Edward is an Epic Sparklemance with much "Classical" Lurve. Remus/Tonks is just complicated as crap and probably was not all that epic. (note: Which makes me want to make a post describing how Twilight is just an Epic Romance The End and how In Real Life Many Preteens will be Very Disappointed.) Edward/Bella had the Edward side of "OMG I WANT TO EAT YOU." to it, while I doubt Remus ever wanted to snack on Tonks. (though the smutters will likely dispute this) Edward/Bella was the focus of four whole books. Remus/Tonks was brought up in one, and resolved in the next, with very few pages about it, and likely only two-to-three years of relationship. (Literally, only two-to-three. See "We're Dead." for more.) Edward/Bella will likely last for a long ass time, at least, and Remus/Tonks lasted about one happy year before they both died.

I think you get The Point. The End! (Fact: If you read this entire post, many ♥s and internet cookies to you.)


Well. I wonder if I should do this more often? In it's own, mind-killing way (seriously, I feel really light-headed and sick), it was interesting and fun.

Unrelated: Victoire and Teddy are fourth cousins once removed, as both are distant descendants of Phineas Nigellus Black. As I learned from the HP Wiki. Just sayin'.